Enemies of Humanity - Prepare to not be enemies anymore...because you will be destroyed. By destroyed, we mean burninated.
Photo: Colin Cavasher aka The Cavasier aka MC Squared
You can find me in Da Tub
Here is Olivia singing a song from The Little Mermaid (Mac Format). I am using Google's free video service. It is quite nice. I don't have to pay for space to upload my videos. However, it did take almost a week for it to go "live". Don't let that stop you from enjoying the show!
By the way, you will be requested to install Google's video player. Do it. It isn't very difficult.
Dylan's mom made a little book online an asked me to take a cute picture of the cute kids being cute together. So for 2 days I placed them in cute situations and took pictures like CRAZY! While one would cry, one would be going the opposite direction, then the other one would get hurt, then we'd all have to go in and cry for a while and repeat the process over and over. So she just used a picture of them when Gage was 12 minutes old, and I had to Photoshop Dylan out of the picture. And here today, playing on the Wonder Horse I just got at Goodwill for $5, I take this totally cute picture of them being cute for no reason. Wouldn't you know it. *sigh*
Here’s the deal with my cousins Gabe (10) and Jonah (8) – they are spastic. We’re talking too spastic for a horse tranquilizer – Ridalin is useless against them. And although I am much older, calmer, smarter, better looking, and generally more awesome, I can’t help but constantly point out dangerous situations to them. “Hey look at that ledge you could climb…That piñata needs shredding…Eat that sucker in the dirt, dude.”
Although I’m always there for suggestions, they definitely don’t need my encouragement. Two weeks ago my brother told me about the contest they had in a restaurant: see who could shove the most/grossest/biggest food item up the nose. As a wide array of French fries, salad items, and desserts disappears into the terror twins’ nasal passages, Gabe decides to out-do Jonah once and for all. Up the nostril goes a straw, and down disappears a big inhale of Coca-Cola. Now, caffeine taken by way of the digestive system is bad enough for these kids, but a hit directly to the brain like that? Havoc. Gabe jumps out of his seat and runs around in circles like a banshee, beginning a reign of terror from Mom and Dad, and showing that you might think your nose is indestructible, but it’snot.
Imagine, if you will, a red braided headband, big glasses, a tight blue shirt with white racing stripes down the arms, and short short red shorts sporting those same racing stripes. Now insert a skinny white dude with tube socks and Pumas, rhythmically punching, jerking, and generally spazzing out to the sweetest sounds to grace the alternative crowd. And there you have the Beck concert we went to on Saturday night. I was laughing and jamming and trying to make out with Dylan the whole time. Those are like the three best things ever, and to be able to do them all at once was pure bliss.
We loved when Beck played a fine arrangement of acoustic songs while his band ate dinner at a table on the side. Once they were finished, they would join in: clanking on plates, tinging the silverware, stomping feet, and making the crystal sing. Yes, it ruled, and we have begun doing that at all of our meals. There was also a song we had never heard: "It's the best day of my life. I'm so happy, I feel like touching a dolphin. Just reach out and pet a porpoise..."
I do, however, have a few suggestions for concert-goers.
A) Do not bring small children to concerts where the decibal levels will be reaching "brain damage" levels. The Wiggles in concert, okay. Barney in concert, also okay. Beck, 50 Cent, Metallica, etc - NOT OKAY.
B) Cover yourselves, and please remain covered for the ENTIRE show.
C) Dancing like an intoxicated stripper on the handrails is acceptable in very few venues - like if that's your job (but leave work at work, right?) and if Nelly is playing. Not at Beck.
D) Please refrain from spilling beer on the floor/chairs/me
E) Stop toking in the arena. If you feel you must be high to enjoy a show, please do it with something in pill form that doesn't make my hair stink.
F) Deodorant, people. DE-odorant.
But, with a few ninja mind clearing exercises, I was able to block out the above atrocities and focus all my mental energy on the beauty that is Beck...
Enjoying Charles the Clown at the Library. It's the longest I've ever seen these two hold still at the same time. For some reason Charles the Clown weirded out when I asked if he wanted to come home with me, though...
Daily routine: put kids on top of slide, Olivia goes down as I try my hardest to keep a hold on Gage...
My little monster beast picked up this booster seat, stacked it on my sewing case, and climbed up to see what all those needles are all about.
These may be a little too personal for you, but deal with it. I've lost 20 pounds and am a member of the Anti-Gym Revolution. Getting in shape and reaching goals does not have to come with an activation fee and monthly membership. My results were achieved through regular exercise at home through workout videos and various activities like swimming, biking, running, etc. I have also made substantial changes in our diets, including reducing meat intake to 1-2 times per week, excluding red meat, eating whole grains, more fruits and veges, cutting down on dairy and sugar, etc. It sounds like a lot, but keep in mind that I made about 1 change a week and still work on my lifestyle habits every day. And don't think I'm some weird health nut that only eats carob brownies and tofurkey. I made the best chocolate chip cookies yesterday... It's just all in moderation. I hope by sharing these scantily clad, make-up free pictures that you will not be embarrassed (and that I won't be embarrassed, either) but that you can see that it can be done - and I hope it might even be a source of inspiration to make little changes in your life in pursuit of greater happiness. You can do it!
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