Higgfarm

Location: Smith's Grocery Store
Date: Monday, February 12th, 2007
Incident: While Mom's head is buried in the cart, chucking things onto the conveyer belt, little rascals have each loaded on a roll of "Six Feet of Bubble Gum". They are very eagar to help carry the grocery bags into the house, and especially interested in the contents of each bag. Then they locate their little prizes. After milking the gum as a reward for cleaning/general niceness, Gage earns a piece after lunch. Ten minutes later, as I was working on the old compy, I hear this dreaded sentence: "I can't find my gum."

 
Before: Gage is not happy with his current look. The drab pink bubble gum is doing nothing for his appearance, or self esteem.
 
After: With an updated "Sesame Oil Spike", Gage is hip and ready for a full day of destruction and/or mayhem.

I discovered, out of necessity, that Sesame oil is stupendous at forcing bubble gum to relinquish its hold on baby fine strands. A special thanks goes out to Gage the Rage for letting me hit yet another of those Mommy Milestones. 

Thank heavens the ticket lady at the Jordan World Circus had an extra "two for one" coupon, and that we had free passes for the kids. Otherwise, the monetary total for this ghetto charade would have reached fifty smackers! Yikes! I'm not sure if it was the utter lack of clowns, the women that honestly looked like reject prostitutes, or the 3 minute wait between back-yard-practiced "acts", but this was by far the worst circus I've ever seen or heard of. And hold you breath the ENTIRE time the elephants are out there. *shudder*
 
There was, in all fairness, one decent part: the lions and tigers (and the long haired guy in the purple rhinestone vest taming them). When the white tiger came out, Gage said "Zebra!"


 
I said "Where is the ring of fire?" and yelled "Ring of fire!" real loud, and lo and behold, they started up the ring of fire. Even Barnum and Bailey didn't do that!


 
Okay, I've been called cruel, but am I the only one that thinks this is a comical picture of their trapeze artist? Yeah, there was no flipping involved in that trapeze show.


 
After the "show", the kids put on their own show, walking the gym floor lines and doing dances and death defying stunts. Luckily that stuff is free to me every day. So I can't decide if it was the worst $18 ever spent because the circus was so absolutely, dreadfully poor, or if it was the best $18 ever spent because, dang, we got a lot of good material and are still laughing about the juggler who can't.